Favourite Fives – Jason Williamson

I was made aware of Sleaford Mods (neither from Sleaford nor mods) during the heady days of Myspace, a good friend of mine told me to have a listen this thing they’d done called ‘Chop Chop Chop’. I’ve been a bit of a fan ever since. I don’t know if it’s the anger, the put downs or the common sense of Jason Williamson’s words that keeps me listening, or the bleak post punk rhythms, but each release seems to be a step up from the last – 2013’s ‘Austerity Dogs’ LP was in all the best of lists last year and the new effort ‘Divide And Exit’ will probably bring even more hipsters to the table, surely inspiring more shouting from the Mods. Currently touring all over the shop, you should get to see them before they refuse to do Jools Holland.

1. Wetherspoons

Wetherspoons is a community saviour. Obviously it gets a roasting by the art crowd with candy coloured fixes and what not but generally it brings people together. I truly believe its given the worker another option for socialisation. So many pubs being shut down at the moment. There is no minimum fuckin spend on cards, cheap but ok food and good prices for beer. I couldn’t give a toss if its out of date lager from Watnall it beats gettin served by Vincent van gogh at Brew Dog at 8 quid a pint.

2. Newstead Abbey.

Me and my wife and daughter have a family ticket it cost about 27 quid for the year.. Bargain! This old stately home is ever more appealing because Byron hated it, he had a massive distain for his ‘privilliged’ up bringing and that came out in his behaviour. You get the sense that this inherited beauty was no substitue for the realities that existed beyond those ground walls. Coffee’s fuckin expensive though and the bacon cobs are shit.

3. Wankers.

Life has no biased when it comes to Wankers. They come from all over the place but the one thing they all share is a non realisation that if they were to make the simple move to be themselves then life would at once become a much better experience for them. I don’t need to experience some cunt with a comedy alcohol problem, it’s rude and very offensive to those who have been destroyed by it. That’s just one example. I could spend all fucking day on this subject. We’re all clued to the system I don’t need anymore obstacles and the wanker can sometimes prove to be just that. At the same time though it is also a constant source of lyric material for me. Invaluable. Lol, so yeah a fave.

4. Work.

I like work because its the reason that my life is surrounded by a shit net. The shit net falls into the atmosphere and hauls us up and that alone tells me that the reason I’m not entirely happy is because of this spectacle. We are robbed and the impossiblity of true potential lost forever. We will never be truly connected to the soul. Work gives me the answer to misery, I know my enemy. Its a fuckin pip squeak.

5.  The toilet.

It sorts you.