We like a good competition here on Proper and this is no different. We’ve teamed up with the people we bought shoes from as kids to give you a chance to win a pair of Nike Air Pegasus ’89.
You might not know (or care) but the Pegasus is a mythical flying horse. So along that same theme we thought we’d ask you to tell us about you own mythical creature.
Maybe you want to create a cat that can bark and smokes loads of cigars while reviewing foreign cinema?
Or perhaps a dog that can walk upright and speak Esperanto. Actually imagine that, a dog just walking around on two legs, buying shopping and that, but talking foreign shit? Mad eh? You can do better though can’t you?
Whoever wins gets the shoes, it’s that simple.
Just post your entry in the comments below, making sure to add a valid email address. We’ll run the comp until Friday 8th March, at which time we’ll choose the answer that made us laugh the most.
Unlimited entries too, so if you’re bored/really funny, feel free to get busy.
In the meantime…
24 Comments
My mythical creature is Dave the renegade silk worm. Early on in life, Dave became disillusioned with silk because “you wouldn’t see Ranulph Fiennes wearing it, would you?”, and began shitting out his own Sixty Forty fabric. Soon after Dave’s “turning water to wine” moment was found out by the authorities, he escaped the death penalty as he fled from communist China. Dave’s now a changed man, hanging up his political activist boots and resides in a flat somewhere in Oldham. No longer is he obsessed with weird shit like the quality of a sock, nor does he force himself to read about torches. Now, Dave now turns his interests to the important stuff like watching YouTube videos of Kate Garraway and conspiracy theories.
My mythical creature would have long slim cellulite free legs with nicely defined calf muscles and would enjoy wearing short skirts so that i could gaze upon these limbs whenever i chose to do so….at the top of these lovely limbs would be all sorts of mythical creature delights that would put a smile on my face….the torso would be slightly curvy,soft and available to me night n day…..the creatures head would be topped by a shock of flaxen hair…its eyes would be large and expressive….the lips,ruby red……..the creature would dwell mainly in the kitchen cooking up all my favourite dishes to perfection…the bedroom would be the creatures second home…..it would be adept at folding…packing and posting various items of clothing and retaining the receipt should the recipient be a wrong-un…..the creature would have an uncanny sixth sense about when to speak and when to remain silent and its favourite words would be “yes”,,”of course i will” and “i posted it today”……it would also enjoy standing in the queue at pie stands up n down the land to fetch me piping hot tea and hot dogs whilist i enjoyed the game…..the creature would also provide a 24hr taxi service without complaint and be good at mowing the lawn…painting sash windows…doing the dishes and that kinda shit……..yeah….that and a few more TBC chores would be the creatures main duties….anyone know where i might find such a beast ???
err……..pfffffff……………… hmmm…..ahh,wait a minute………………… no…sorry.
eh…… ????……….grrrrrr…………..**strokes beard**……..ahhhhhhhhrgh !!!!!………..gimme a minute,gimme a minute……………………………………….. RIGHT,,,,get a grip…………c`mon……..F F S !!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………………………*sigh*……………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………no……….sorry………………i just cant come up with anything worthwhile………… 🙁
I have parrot who loves a drama & is very red (loves the sun) similar to the trainers above , it’s called Shirley & pecks at my head on a daily basis .
I have parrot who loves a drama & is very red (loves the sun) similar to the trainers above , it’s called Shirley & pecks at my head on a daily basis . Also has itself a little toy car (mini) chills in it with sunglasses on
Shark with Oscar Pistorius’ Legs. We’ll leave it at that.
Incidentally, I have already begun testing on creating a new breed of hedgehog. Ones that vomit the entire latest range of Universal Works twice a year. They’ll have a devout fondness for pale ales and when fed dairy lea Dunkers, tabs of LSD are released via the other end.
I want 2 cross foxes, well more precisely 2 foxes joined together in the form of a diagonal cross, you know saltire like. I would then lead them up and down my local high street to celebrate Dunc Gaffney day. The day I became a man, the day, the cavalier actions of a pissed 16 year old led to revolution, panic on the streets of london, panic on the streets of…..you get my drift or was it the day after necking 3 pints of snakebite that I stumbled down the stairs of the Cross Foxes pub and in to the path of Dunc Gaffney, local stedhead and bully who’d made our early teenage years a misery. Momentum carried me like a speeding train and I ploughed in to Duncs chest, off balance he crashed backwards through Peter Hughes shoe shop window. As he lay there, a downed colossus, a crowd of onlookers were picking up old ladies sandals and twatting him about the head for a good 5 mins before the local rozz turned up to save him. Vengeance and victory in one fell swoop was ours, hurrah. Well all except for Mark ‘touche’ turtle who was nicked for stealing 1mitre munich trainer, the local press compared this rash act with the Toxteth riots. The Cross Foxes pub has long sinced closed but people need to know this story how to stand tall in the face of adversary. they need reminding with the shape of 2 foxes combined in the shape of a saltire cross……don’t they?
A dog that would piss and shit on everyone in shit clothing.
When I was growing up I worried about 2 things, quicksand (which turned out to be far less of a problem than I imagined) and that snakes may one day be able to fly. Snakes are horrible bastards but imagine one with wings, massive eagle wings! And because it was a flying snake it would of course be smug and probably really sarcastic, did I mention it could talk, sounds like a cross between Bane & Jimmy Nail, like. And the name for this beast, Dsarcasticsmugbirdsnakething (The d is silent)
A liger.
“It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic.”
Hmmm, how about a Wookiee who makes a mean sandwich, has mad Jiu-jitsu credentials and is the ultimate wingman. He’d probably be called Gunni or something…
I don’t own it but i’ve heard of mysterious mythical creature known as ‘cash’ or sometimes ‘reddies’ and even occasionally ‘wonga’. I never seem to come across it though. I’d really like to see these Pegasus you speak of.
My mythical creature would be a whippet which uses its tail as a magic wand and goes around giving people three wishes.
For example, “I’d like to win some brilliant Nike trainers”.
I have an electrical ghost carrot called Damian who used to work at Rumbelows back in the day, you know what I mean by that don’t you? I am also surrounded by cats with faces the size of fifty pence pieces at least 80% of my waking life. If I win the trainers I would like them to be sent to me separately in the post, just in case I’m being watched by ‘them’ again.
P.S. my hair is like the one with a burnt face who sucked Chris Evans off from Loose Women
Mines a penis that collects trainers!! Uk 10s to boot!!
I’d like a monkey in a wheelchair.
I’d like a magical cross between a cow and a horse.
Something something Findus Lasagne. Do your own joke.
Mythical creature eh?
How about a cat that isn’t a Grade-A bellend?
Oh bugger only just spotted this-
We like a good competition here on Proper and this is no different. We’ve teamed up with the people we bought shoes from as kids to give you a chance to win a pair of Nike Air Pegasus ’89.
I never bought trainers as a child but my mother often bought me awesome pairs of black pumps from Tesco
i need the red ones as they will match my bloodied feet as alas I only own 1 pair of trainers. These are the mythical Nike Omega Flames. Well they arnt really Omega Flames they were a pair of Cortez and i set them on fire just to see if i could acheive that special look. Now i’m more special needs than special shoes.
Thank you
I can also do a swap for a signed photo of Dr Who
He was the Dr who bandaged up my feet, a lovely chap from China
So far, so good. But there are almost 3 weeks left. Keep them coming.
Chris wins then.
I actually own a mythical creature, no shit. I got bullied at school because no one believes me. His name is Graham and is a cross between a flying yeti and a sand-bat. He breathes crystal meth and shits cats. Actual cats. It’s a nightmare trying to get rid of them but luckily the preferred choice of food for a flying yeti sand-bat is cats. So in effect he eats his own shit. But he’s nice and playful really. He likes to be tickled just around his arsehole and his favourite magazine is Viz.