Right, we’ve arrived—the first bank holiday weekend of the year. A truly momentous occasion, and everyone knows that for this momentous occasion, all rules go out the window. Anything could happen, and nothing is off the cards. Now, if you were the thinking type, you’ve probably used some extra holiday to make this weekend into a week, and gone somewhere hot.
Unfortunately, I’m not the thinking type, and that’s why the highlight of my bank holiday weekend is going to be watching Hereford FC play Leamington. And for those asking if I’d rather be going somewhere hot than watching National League football? As much as my small-town syndrome says I should say no, the answer is undoubtedly yes.
As a result of not turning my bank holiday weekend into a mega bank holiday week in the South of Spain, I ended up wallowing in my own self pity by putting Sexy Beast on the telly and immediately found myself longing even more to be on a sun lounger in my pants, wearing a pair of expensive Italian sunglasses.
Anyway, I’ve put my jealousy aside, come to terms with the fact I’m not going anywhere near Spain this bank holiday weekend, and done the next best thing…
Curated a list of all the gear I’d like to take on holiday to roleplay as a retired gangster hiding out in an inconspicuous Spanish village.
Right, I’m off to wash my down jacket in preparation for Edgar Street tomorrow. Nice one, hope you all enjoy your bank holiday weekend, whatever you’re doing.
All items courtesy of EQVVS
Carhartt WIP Relaxed Fit Nathan T-Shirt
Nothing says Brit on holiday more than a stripey tee. Not sure what it is about horizontal stripes, but they just bring a sense of natural calmness – a pretty vital feeling for a retired gangster, I’d imagine.
Polo Ralph Lauren Pebbled Leather Duffle Bag
This Ralph Lauren bag is well semi-retired gangster. Have everyone in the airport wondering what kind of firearm you’ve got inside it, when in reality, the closest thing you’re carrying to a weapon is a value bottle of SPF50.
Birkenstock Boston + Birkenstock Arizona Sandals
Although plenty of people cut about Blighty in Birkenstocks these days, that’s not what they’re actually meant for. You should pay them the respect they deserve and reserve a pair for areas where the temperature only exceeds 16 degrees.
Polo Ralph Lauren Corduroy Prepster Shorts
Corduroy shorts are always smart, especially in this delectable beige colour from Ralph Lauren. The only issue is they’re likely to get paella stains on pretty easily, so you know, wear at your own risk.
Carhartt WIP Relaxed Fit Craft Shirt
Wearing Carhartt on holiday is pretty ironic, isn’t it? Gear designed for work, worn in a location that couldn’t be further removed from work if it tried. Anyway, if any locals need help fixing their pool, don’t be surprised when they start looking in your direction wearing this.
Messy Weekend Sean Sunglasses & Messy Weekend Bille Sunglasses
Arguably, the most important part of a holiday rig-out is your eyewear. If you want my advice, top pair for evening, bottom for everything else.
adidas Originals SL72 RS
You can’t solely rely on Birkenstocks when on holiday – what if a group of Spanish yobs challenge you to a game of Kerby? For that reason, I’ve included this choice blue and white pair of SL72.
C.P. Company Logo Polo Shirt
Inevitably, if you’re British, you’re going to get really, horribly sunburnt at some point. And when that point comes, you’re going to want a smart polo shirt to cover your peeling skin, like this C.P. Company one.
Polo Ralph Lauren Embroidered Canvas Tote Bag
One of the best parts of being on holiday is checking out what goes on in your quaint Spanish surroundings. Not a lot, is generally the answer to that. Either way, you’re going to want a small bag to carry alcoholic beverages and swimwear around while you do it.
