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It’s a Saturday morning, 11.13 am to be precise. The weather outside is clement. Mums go visiting family, people are going to Weddings, dads chat over the fence to neighbours about grass growing techniques (more fertilising than hydroponics), lads go to the football match, have a few scoops, discuss latest signings, maybe even get their hands dirty.

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Video or DVD? Well I personally don’t own either but that’s because I’m bad at poker, I think that cinemas should re-introduce the interval & we should all start going back to the flicks, I don’t care if you have got a 32 incher Widescreen with dolby surround sound, nothing captures your attention like a huge screen, massive speakers & darkness does it (especially playing guess the Revel)?

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Have you started seriously thinking about joining the National trust? Do you try and round crowds of people up at the match by whistling and saying ‘come by, come by’? Are you on first name terms with the nice ladies in the Barbour shop? Do you look like the fifth member of the Arctic Monkeys?