Da Oirish head in to the tournament as the only team wearing a strip from Umbro. It’s quite a fall from grace from the diamond-brand but they’re too busy concentrating on creating retro edgy streetwear [sic] these days and only still makes Ireland’s kits because it’s still the 1990’s there.
The home shirt is a plain green number with white and orange trimming. It features a woven collar in further tribute to the 1990’s, confusingly also throwing-in a shadow-stripe that is pure 1980’s.
The away shirt is predominately white with the addition of green stripes around the sleeves to appease the nostalgia bores who prattle-on with their “Who remembers Pacers?” rhetoric.
The shirt is apparently inspired by the Magic Tree in county Waterford, a famous tree on the way to Mahon Falls in the Comeragh Mountains. It was actually supposed to have an image of this tree on the front but unfortunately the designer was a Cork man.
The shirts feature the legends ‘Great craic’ printed on the inside hem of the home shirt with the away featuring a subtle shadow pattern with ‘GBOL’ on the back.
Manager Martin O’Neill described the kit as “Quixotic y’know. Like the cloudberries that gather during lambing season”.
Assistant manager Roy Keane took a break from auditioning for Game of Thrones to offer his thoughts up; “It’s a total f**king disgrace. Amateurish shite. I really don’t know what the fellas at Umbro were thinking. F**king idiots”.
(These lads modelling the Ireland away shirt might be Ireland footballers).