This is the sort of Stone Island I’m talking about. It’s just exciting. I mean, I’m not sure if I could actually wear the Gilet Rain Camo Reflective Jacket – if I could afford it – but I’d definitely swan around in it for a good while, feeling myself, then take it off after feeling self-conscious. You know when it gets to 7 am and you start playing dress-up with your mates? I’d definitely wear it then – I just can’t picture myself sitting patiently on the tram, with one eye looking out for Metties and the other scanning people’s perception of me as I sit there in a £2500 Stone Island fleece-lined, multi-layered, detachable-gilet, reflective white-badge jacket. Actually, that sounds alright.
It’s not just that, though. Also, as part of the Camo Reflective range, there’s a padded vest that I can only see Drake wearing, on stage at Wireless or whatever overpriced one-day festival he headlines at. I can also imagine every single roadman selling Nos balloons saving their Nos money under the bed with this as the final goal. It’s composed of magnetic quick-release straps on the shoulders and finished with reflective details on the back. It is class, to be honest.
Lastly, there’s a far more wearable but just as impressive overshirt in abrasion-resistant nylon, which is highly reflective when hit by light. Night-time, flash on. Best Instagram picture ever.
All three of these items are available at Aphrodite, and the more I look at them, the more I actually really do want them all. Just for the jokes.
