Ten Christmas Jumpers it’s ok to wear

As we hurtle past Halloween and Bonfire Night, Black Friday and Thanksgiving loom. Does that cover everyone? We want to be inclusive in our references to commercialised dates in the calendar. Because you know what comes after all this faff? Christmas, that’s what. Forced festive fun like the wearing of awful knitwear is obviously the domain of absolute wallies, or at best those who know they look like an absolute wally but don’t care enough to opt out.

There’s another way though. In fact there are a few, such as this one CFS have been peddling of late. Almost makes Christmas jumpers cool. Almost.

For the more refined gent who wants to don some nice knitwear this winterval, we’ve put together a list of options from some of our favourite stores. They’re more likely to attract a nod of approval than a smack in the face on Black Eye Friday, which has to be a positive thing doesn’t it?

Beams Plus at Fresh
What a shame Fresh are located in the North of Italy rather than the South. This has a strong scent of Neapolitan ice cream about it, which would have made for a nice reference. Could have referenced ice and cold and stuff. Never mind.
Get it here

Universal Works at Wellgosh
Not all cardigans are made for men with a wininng collection of walking aids. This one is right up our rue, as is pretty much everything Universal Works have ever made. Annoying good.
Swipe one here from Wellgosh

Folk at Oi Polloi
If you stare at this for long enough, you’ll see a man on a horse and the horse is laughing and its on a skateboard. Probably.
Magic Eye style madness here

Norse Projects at Yards
Like something a Danish weatherman would have worn to tell us not to worry about a storm in the early 90s. A yes from us.
Like Great Danes, Bring Home the Bacon etc here

Anonymous Ism at Parasol
Right, I’m gonna have to just buy one of these aren’t I? It’s fucking tremendous and I don’t usually swear about jumpers. It’s one of my rules.
Various colours here

Northern Fells at Northern Fells
This puts us in mind of Kirk Douglas in Heroes of Telemark, albeit in a bit more of a racy colourway, which is nice.
Northern Fells have plenty of this sort of thing.

Paul & Shark at Xile
Make like a Maritime Menswear enthusiast or perhaps a 1990s Salfordian with a strong dose of P and S from Xile.
Get one here

YMC at Oi Polloi
A dark undercurrent of Geoffrey from Rainbow drips from every stitch of this YMC effort. I say that like it’s a bad thing but paired with some dust-coloured cords and a brilliant white pump, these would have you thinking about talking to puppets this Christmas.
It’s nice though isn’t it? Get it here

Stone Island at Aphrodite
The archetypal Stone Island knit, this is ideal for your Christmas themed party, what with it being white. Fun fact, that I’ve just made up, only 12% of Christmasses are white.
Make yours 100% white here

Moncler at Pockets
Reassuringly luxurious, this is one of those items of knitwear that’ll have you feeling super posh, with a hint of someone who works exclusively in a cash business. If you know, you know.
Get one here

I had pizza for tea.

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