Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to praise the cord and to ask the sweet, sweet cord to have mercy upon our sinful denim wearing souls. We promise from now on that we’re going to carry out the cord’s work and teach everyone stories from the book of our cord such as ‘Jonah and the 8 wale’ and how it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a pair of needle cord trousers than it is for a man wearing tracksuit bottoms to go to heaven. The first sermon will be happening over at the church of the Working Class Heroes and you can atone for all your non-corduroy wearing sins by covering yourself head to toe in the glorious cord.
Let us all follow the path to our cord here, Amen.
