Large and very warm-looking winter coats are Woolrich’s bread and butter. By bread and butter I mean bagels from a bakery called State Fayre in Crumpsall that are still hot and Lurpak that’s been strategically taken out of the fridge five minutes in advance so it can be properly spread. I.e. the good shit, the essence of life.
This particular large and very warm-looking winter coat is the Pocono Parka. You’ll notice the word ‘Pocono’ is quite like the word ‘Pacino’ (it isn’t really, but let me go with it), as in Al Pacino – that man who for reasons unknown gave up acting somewhere between 1975 and 1980 to become a professional shouter. And like Al Pacino, the Pocono Parka too shouts very loudly – mainly things like “BUY ME.”
Its insides are stuffed with a mixture of down feathers and actual feathers (eighty percent the former and twenty the latter), so the whole experience is a bit like walking around in a sleeved and open-bottomed sleeping bag. The detachable fur collar-lining looks nice and soft too, and I suppose there’s nothing stopping you removing it and stroking it, even in public.
People will ask you, “Why have you got that smug grin on your face?” and you will answer, “Oh, am I grinning? I was not aware. It must be because I am walking around in this Woolrich Pocono,” and they will concede, “Well it does look very warm,” and you will tell them, “It is.”
If they have a brain they will then ask where you bought it, and you will say Oi Polloi.