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Drip report: Qatar (a)

With the group stages done we reflect on a tournament that has been truly bonkers so far.

The madness of this World Cup has been mirrored on and off the pitch. Upsets left, right and centre, problematic hosts and prevaling narratives challenging corruption in football have all made it thoroughly entertaining. Luckily you’re being spared from our perspectives on football and politics and we shall instead analyse what we know best, style.

There have been some cracking kits on show, the wildest ones are most memorable but minimalist tops are classy and easier to wear as a fan. Some notable ones below.

Little did Adidas know that the flames on belgiums sleeves would predict their early burn out of the tournament.

Our love and respect for Japanese clobber now spreads to football attire.

The Saudi’s sleek & sexy green number is nearly as luxurious as those imaginary Rolls Royces they were gifted.

Co-hosts of the next tournament, USA, have engaged their country in the world cup like never before in fine style in their blue jerseys.

Argentinas away kit continues the theme of fuego.

Honorable mentions not yet seen.

Boots wise the majority of the 49% of players wearing Nike have been kitted out with metallic bronze boots which is slightly odd for those playing for 1st not 3rd. The laceless sock boot remains popular, with New Balance fielding a particularly stylish iteration. Puma’s bright red kicks are also eyecatching but the best effort comes in the shapes of Adidas’ ‘Al Rihla’ pack. Al Rihla translates as “the journey” in Arabic, and, the boots have been inspired by the architecture, iconic boats, and the flag of the host country.

Fans are what makes football so special and even though they were robbed of the opportunity to wash back pissy lager in the stadiums, they seem to be having a great time. No one however would’ve predicted the level of protest that we’ve seen from those who’ve been willing to challenge the system on one of the biggest stages of them all.

Some garments and accessories baring the LGBTQ+ rainbow have appeared in stadiums even though many have been confiscated by security. The ‘One Love’ captain armband baring the same flag was a big talking point prior to the tournament but following sanctions threatened by FIFA they ceased to make an appearance on the players. Interesting to note that the captains armbands are not free of politcal statements, all bare the logo of FIFA’s campaign Protect Children, End Hunger. The ‘One Love’ armband did however make an appearance on a German minister in attendance at their game against Japan.

In a particularly moving act, a lady held up an shirt baring the name of Masha Amini, a victim of the violence in Iran.

A successful streaker managed to highlight both aformentioned struggles and that of the people of Ukraine in one outfit as he ran across the pitch in the Portugal vs Norway game.

And an interesting expose in the New York Times uncovered that many fans wearing maroon tees of the home country at their matches were not infact from Qatar at all.

Football has been inherently political for a long time but it has been omnipresent in this tournament like never before. Clothes and flags have been tools for protest and through the ingenuity of fans, football continues to be used to call for societal and systemic change.

Engerland

Amongst those with a high sartorial IQ England players have never really been style icons, with their outfits employing a more money than dress sense philosophy. Though a few memebers of this squad have flirted with fashion very publicly in the past few years, so maybe things are changing…

Unfortunately for the boys the offical outfitters of the squad is your grandparents favourite clothing retailer, Marks and Spencer’s. The team photo is actaully rather sweet, the young squad all looking like genuine mates and their smiles inject some much needed personality into the occsasion. That being said, those cheap polyester trousers, +99 curve shit flickers and a jacket/top combination fit for only the most dreary of spice boy don’t do them much justice.

Leading from the middle of the pic is top boy Gareth, we’re yet to see the squad face a serious challenge but it’s fair to say so far, so good. He’s opted out of his previous shirt and tie territory swapping in the same zip up polo/blazer combo seen above. The outfit is something that looks more privvy for someone his players age rather than his own but good on him for trying.

We’re yet to see the better of the two kits. Nike have undeniably done a great job with the away strip which features some saucy little details and channels the vibes of the famed retro tops. The home iteration isn’t as appealing but that could change if it becomes immortalised as trophy winning strip.

The accompanying apparel line misses by a mile though. Heavy use of ‘Three Lions’ logoing and sloganing gives off American university feels – cheers Nikee. There are some really strange additions in the form of a half baked shot at streetwear too.

Maybe Jack Grealish had something to do with this button down because it looks like its come straight off of the Boohoo Man website. The three lions on the chest pocket make it look like England Cricket merch which might be a worse thing than being seen in this top in the first place.

Iconography overload in the style of Motorhead. Even the model is thinking what the fuck.

DEE-fense.

Since when did football and psychedelics mix?

The legendary Nike Tech Fleece got an England make over. On the streets of our nation it’s favoured by teenagers, gym heads and roadmen alike. Here’s some excellent examples of how not to wear it courtesy of the boys.

And then last but not least we of course have the fans. Theres no better advert for eating healthy, quitting smoking and stopping drinking than the camera pan across the stands at an England game. The irony of aggressivley out of shape men wearing Knights Templar costumes on the very land which the crusades took place must take some of the sting out of their tone deaf decision making. On a positive note, reports back via twitter and the likes have shown some hilarious moments of exchange. The Ghutra and Thobe typical of Qatari dress have been remixed and adopted by fans of all teams much to the enjoyment of their hosts. Some of England’s excellent efforts below.

Against all odds the World Cup continues to be the best sporting event in the world, and luckily for us we’ve got two more weeks of it.

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