If you don’t know who Daniel Sandison is then you’re probably not on Twitter and if you’re not on Twitter then what the fuck are you on? Smack probably. Anyway I’d say Mr Sandison causes a good 20 to 25% of the LOLs I do whilst trawling the aforementioned social media site, such is his rapier wit (not that he’s always making jokes about rape btw). He is also the editor of the most excellent Halcyon magazine, which is a bit like how Proper would be if it’s editors hadn’t given themselves brain damage by eating too many steak-bakes. As Halcyon has just brought out issue number five, it’s seems only fitting that we ask Daniel for his favourite five.
Item of Clothing – adidas training shoes
At the minute it seems that you’re really cool if you know loads and loads about trainers, or you’re really cool if you pretend you’ve never heard of them, and you only wear shoes crafted from Unicorn hide by Native American war widows. Under no circumstances are you to be somewhere in between. I am somewhere in between. Trainers are the reason I first liked clothes, they’re the reason I’ve got some friends (mainly internet, some real) and they’re pretty much the only reason I pretend to still like football. Those Stan Smiths that are coming out next year look mega, and David Bowie wore them. I’ll probably get some of those.
Music – AM by Arctic Monkeys
That new Arctic Monkeys album is a masterpiece – I’m not joking. I know enough soft old shites who pretend they don’t like The Stone Roses any more, to try and stay fresh and interesting. I’m going to stick with these. They’re boss.
Book – Fantastic Mr. Fox by Roald Dahl
It’s perfect. It’s the tale of a fox in a cravat, whose own pathetically egotistical pig-headedness puts his family in grave danger, and almost loses him the love of his life. He remedies all of the above by turning to a life of crime, gaining a scar in the process. If you replace the word ‘fox’ in the above paragraph with ‘hard-drinking bullfighter’ you’ve got a Hemingway novel, if you replace it with ‘plucky Italian street urchin’ you’ve got Italian Neo-Realism. As I said… Perfect.
Art – Helmut Newton
Went to see an exhibition of his in Berlin once. Wasn’t particularly enamored, but I’m using this as a warm-up for when Monocle ask me the same question and I reckon that’ll go down a treat. In all seriousness though, he was dead good at photos and probably captured the essence of something at one point or another.
Something Else – Professional Cycling
Remember how you used to watch Football Italia and it was mental? None of it made sense, and seemingly ancient men would summon superhuman strength to drag their team – often clad in a garish, skin-tight kit – to glory? That’s cycling, that. It’s insane. It’s a team sport in which only one person can win. It’s full of weirdos, loners and egotistical dickheads who want nothing more than their competitors to suffer. It’s riddled with corruption, drugs and political in-fighting. It’s the Serie A, in the mountains.
We’re not approving any more comments with false email accounts
It’s also ironic that Neil wrote the intro not Mark you dick
Ironic that Mark, considering he’s the nameless entity behind the very same parody twitter accounts you get 20 to 25% of your laughs from.
Calling people names without leaving yours?
And he’s the beaut?
seems like a total beaut does Daniel