It’s time to up your bag game. Luckily, Liquour Store’s got loads of new ones in from Swedish bag lords Sandqvist. So you better bagsy one of these quick ‘cos you can’t be taking that knackered old thing as hand luggage on your summer holiday again. And if one of your mates turns up at the airport with one of these instead of you, you’ll be left looking as fed up as a girl being driven to the pub in the passenger seat of her boyfriend’s dirty work van.
Here’s a run down of what they’ve got in store.
Meet Buzz. Buzz loves a rowdy weekend away with the lads to some European city like Krakow or Riga and, just like your Skyscanner flights to the former Eastern Block or the whore you’ll meet once you’re there, Buzz costs about £80. Well, in fact, he costs exactly £80. Which is nice. This bag is also made of a lightweight, 100% nylon Ripstop material and can, for some reason, be emptied, folded up and put into a little pouch once you’ve finished with it.
Just like that £80 whore really.
This is Nice Guy Eddy; and he’s very fucking nice indeed. Named after the Belgian 5 time Tour de France champion – Eddy Merckx – he’s especially nice when carried as a tote bag after you’ve tucked the straps away. Or instead, obviously, you can keep the straps out (and taps aff if you want) and wear him on your back, safely carrying your daily supplies and a laptop in a perfectly cushioned 20L pocket. The roll top and leather details add some nice steezy touches and compliment the ultra durable 1000 denier Cordura canvas fabric. Denier is usually what you measure tights in so that’s like the thickest, most hard wearing pair of tights ever.
Like what would be worn by that £80… never mind.
Weighing in at 18oz of cotton canvas with a storage capacity of 14L, Stig is slightly smaller and more everyday use than Eddy. He still has a padded laptop sleeve and will fit both your butties and Caramac in too; basically an upmarket Kanken. And we know you like to act like your upmarket.
Plus this bag is most definitely not named after that massive helmeted recluse off Top Gear.
Now, if Eddy and Stig had some sort of weird bag love child, you’d get this; the Hans backpack. Made of the same 1000 denier heavy duty fabric as the Eddy, this bag comes in the smaller 14L size, with the added bonus of some excellently 1940s leather straps. It’s the kind of bag that some Swedish woodland super bloke would have worn whilst bossing the leafy wilderness, whilst the rest of us in Europe (minus Switzerland) were busy fighting the Germans during WWII.
Sweden were neutral, right?
Look at Bob; all understated and quietly confident, just oozing that ‘yeah, I’m timeless, Thor and Odin used me to carry their school books in’ attitude. He includes room for a 15″ laptop (padded for protection, of course) and has two side bellow pockets that can carry a half litre bottle of water/a big bottle of lager each. Bob is ready to serve both business and pleasure. He’s probably even smart enough to wear with a suit.
You’re probably bored of all this bag talk now. Just feast on some pictures of Bob’s features instead, so I can stop personifying bags for cheap laughs on the internet.