Nike Roshe Run Trail

My head is in a spin
My feet don’t touch the ground
Because you’re near to me
My head goes round and round
My knees are shakin’ baby
My heart it beats like a drum

It feels like
It feels like I’m in love

Yeah. In love.

With some shoes.


Sorry if this is all getting a bit repetitive but like notoriously un-racist referee Mark Clattenburg I couldn’t give a monkeys. Shoes are what I like. Christmas is coming and I was a very well looked after child. Some would say spoilt, but that implies negativity. How can a childhood which involved loads of fucking ace Christmas presents every year be remotely negative.

The legacy of my childhood “Can I have” culture is of course with me just as strongly as an adult and as such, I can’t help but keep looking for something new to wear. I sometimes have to stop myself from shouting downstairs “Muuu-um….  I’ve seen some shoes and I really need them for P.E.”

The latest on my hit list are these Nike Roshe Run Trail boot/shoe type-things. It’s almost getting a bit obvious to say now but if I whisper the word Hikerdelic again, I’m sure you won’t hate me for it. And if you do then I hate you too and anyway your Mum’s got a baldy head and collects footy stickers so ha.

If you’re reading this Ange (I usually call her ‘Mum’ but this is serious) then I’d like to hereby formally request you abandon all plans to give us a small token of festivity this year, pool the combined amount you were going to spend on me, her and the two kids and BUY ME THESE TRAINERS NOW! I need them for P.E.

(You can get them from Schuh, size? and Urban Industry . Please do. The green ones are obviously the best.)


Mark Smith

I had pizza for tea.

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