Arise, for the King of Hikerdelia is come and his name is Yvon.
Yep, Yvon. Not like that woman who used to cut your Mum’s hair, drive a mini metro. That was Yvonne. Remember? She called her car ‘Jasmine’ and put little eyelashes over the front lights? Walked with a limp, looked like Patrick Swayze?
Sorry I’m getting sidetracked here, where was I? Oh yeah, Hikerdelia Deity Yvon Chouinard. I recently wrote this much more grown up thing about him for the Original Store. Just look at him. He’s about 80 or something but would you fuck with someone with that face? I wouldn’t. He looks like he could wrap a spanner around your napper as soon as look at you. He wouldn’t though (I don’t think?). Chouinard is not a mentalist, but an environmentalist, which contrary to what you might think are not one and the same.
In his pursuit to care for the planet, his Patagonia brand devised a synthetic fabric long, long ago (it’s in the first chapter of the Bumper Book of Hikerdelia, probably). This fabric is called Synchilla and its most common habitat is on the fleece.
I can’t think of the word fleece without referring to John Shuttleworth who himself is no stranger to Hikerdelic steez. “God Bless the Fleece, it brings us inner peace” reckons sage John.
Anyway, I’ve had my eye on one of these for weeks and as soon as payday comes next week I’m buying a large. If you could hold off buying that size until about Thursday teatime I promise I’ll tell Yvon not to leather you.
Available from The Original Store.