Timex Weekender Watch

Those crazy cockneys with their daft language. For ages I’d observe them talking about their new ‘kettle’ and be perturbed at how excited these grown men could get over something that made a cup of tea.

Of course, kettle in Cockernese is rhyming slang for watch. Look it up, I can’t be bothered.

I’m too busy thinking about whether to bite the bullet, shit or get off the pot and other crude metaphors relating to the purchase of one of these watches. I might get one for my Dad for Christmas. He’s got arthritis and probably can’t wear it. I’d essentially be lending it to him for a few weeks then doing him a favour taking it off his hands. It’s a plan sure to work.

I’d do the same with some expensive socks but he’s got notoriously smelly feet.

See, I can write about nice things without having to throw loads of puns in. I could have said how this is a versatile watch which ticks several boxes.

Available from size? anyway.


Main image borrowed from

Mark Smith

I had pizza for tea.

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